What has a secret become today? Something that you tell everybody to tell nobody! Or some truth that you’d rather take to the grave to save yourself from embarrassment! The definition of a secret could rather be described as something that you intend to not tell people. The reason for keeping a secret could either be logical or emotional. Logical being, the inability of the audience to handle such information. For example, hiding something from children because you are “protecting them” from the truth. Emotional being, due to fear, guilt and judgement. Or it could be the sheer thrill of knowing something no one else does. This gives you a sense of power and control. I have met such people and trust me, no good has come out it in the long run.
We all have secrets. Harmless, jovial ones, the deep regretful ones or maybe the gossipy ones. And keeping other people’s secrets is the most uneasy one. If they confide in you with a secret, you should respect yourself enough to hold it in you. If you have disclosed it to someone else, shame on you.
The problem is not in keeping it, it is the stress we put in mentally to not tell anyone. It keeps us awake in the nights, it makes us cry when we listen to songs that describe our life perfectly, it makes us choke when we see movies depicting our disturbed past. The idea of it alone stems from the fact of intentional hiding. So we choose to eat away, drink away, exercise away or do anything to rationalise the power of it.
Remember, having secrets is not a problem if they do not affect you in an unhealthy way!
But, my question is this: Is the fear of having secrets or keeping secrets more powerful? A secret, itself, has a lot of power. You don’t have it, it has you! It compresses you into a cage of judgements and doubts. Will people accept you for who you are? Will you be happy sharing it? Are we afraid or are we being judgemental about ourselves? Do I have the capability to keep a secret?
Am I bothering you with so many questions?!
Okay, here’s my thought on secrets!
I think keeping secrets between loved ones could cause havoc if not taken care of. I have things that I’m unwilling to share with anyone. The reason being I’m constantly in fear of being judged. With time, all these thoughts made me think of how foolish I had been at certain times. For a secret to remain a secret, one has to hide away from the fact that it is a secret. You pile up your thoughts with one or more lies to comfort yourself that not revealing it is the right thing to do. Eventually, you either accept it as a hidden thought or live with the consequences of disclosing it. Either way, it is a tough call.
Secrets are a fragile part of your life, at least the ones important are! The denial of it is what inflates the power of it. It will make you judge people. It will introduce you to a side you haven’t seen. It becomes an important part of your identity. My advice is if you are dying to tell things out, write it on a piece of paper and tear it. Even better? Talk to your trusted ones. You are not alone, ever. In a world where everyone’s life is shielded by a mask of social networking lies, we need authenticity and transparency!