You know how it is to be a socially awkward person and show up at social gatherings? Conversations ending in awkward silences, getting all wooden when people look you in the eye for eternity and trying to put up a sexy yet subtle, welcoming smile when in fact you could be looking like a gremlin drunk on wine! Or you forcefully manage to stuff your mouth when people approach towards you only to realize the food is hot and you start breathing like a retarded dragon! Fortunately, I’m at this stage where I have successfully (at least I think so) managed to bear the ‘small talk’. Thanks to my friends and family for moving away from the city at the same time. I had no other option but to socialize. Now I don’t mean to sound like I was pressurized by all of it but it wasn’t easy either. It took me a lot of patience to listen to the chatter and banter (no offence to my dear ones) but I’m glad I did. Who knew I was a good listener! I guess I’m sometimes a social butterfly, sometimes a snuggly potato on the couch.
I love taking personality tests and I’ve found myself wondering, “This question really depends on the situation”. Even though I self-proclaimed myself as an introvert, I couldn’t tick all the boxes and it bothered me that I couldn’t categorize myself. A tip for all those out there like me: do not confuse yourself trying to pin down into the introvert, extrovert classification. We really, really can’t decide. It’s too complicated. But thankfully for the internet, I’ve stumbled upon the third category called ‘ambivert’. No, I’m not talking about an animal, it’s a personality type.
From all the articles I read and the experiences I had, here’s how I can simply define one: some people think you are quiet, while others think you are highly social. When it comes to parties or solitude time, too much is boring for you. You need a bit of that and this. Small talks do not make you uncomfortable but they certainly make you jaded. We typically slide up and down the energy graph when it comes to interactions depending upon the situation, place, and people. Trusting people can be skeptical but sometimes you tend to dive in. Personally, I’m on the journey to improve my people skills. Sometimes even the best conversation starters fail but fear not, I have sort of figured out the reasons.
- Small talks – Talking about the weather or anything disinteresting (according to us) in the first conversation is a big NO-NO. We may politely continue listening but it will bore us.
- We have two sides to almost every situation and our feedback on it depends on whom we are surrounded by.
- We struggle with informal greetings from strangers. I’m talking about the “yo-yos” and the “sups” (with a smirk on their face). A decent “hi” would be nice, though, just saying.
- Connection is everything. We are selectively social people. We may have an abundance or lack of social energy depending on who we speak to.
- Energy – the ultimate deal breaker! A person’s energy can tell us a lot more about them than their words. If your vibe is good, I’m good.
Once we find someone worth our time, there is no letting go (okay, I sound creepy now). But really, in this generation, it is hard to find people you connect with. There are times when politeness gets misunderstood as flirting. In such a case, you can slowly walk away. We live in an era that is highly skilled at allowing connections to fade away. Because of social media and cell phones, we think we are replaceable, and that’s silly. One important thing that I stress on is ‘energy’. You cannot replace the energy of someone who is genuine. Appreciate them, cherish them, those people are gold. Energy doesn’t lie. Trust it. Don’t tolerate people who drain your energy. You never know who needs you. Good energy is contagious.
If you find yourself equally energized by quiet time and interaction, then you may be an ambivert. Are you one of them?